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Für Promovenden, die sich an der UR einschreiben wollen, haben wir auch hilfreiche Informationen zusammengestellt. Das International Office ist die wichtigste Beratungsstelle für alle, die entweder ins Ausland gehen möchten z. Die Grundlage hierfür bilden verschiedene Richtlinien und Vereinbarungen, die den internationalen Austausch erleichtern und verlässliche Rahmenbedingungen liefern. This is unusual behavior to see in the workplace and people tend to be mystified by unusual behavior.
She is not being judgmental which seems to be the gist of your complaint? The OP was giving more information. If we want OPs to interact in the comments, jumping on them when they do is not a good way to make that happen. Even looking at all OPs responses throughout the thread, she only reiterates what she mentions in the first comment, which is really to clarify the point.
This is affecting clients, which adds a layer of complexity that may not have been as clear early on. Just actively ignore it, and divert the conversation. LOL you beat me to that comment! OP — Sometimes you have to just let crazy be crazy.
Repeat as often as necessary. That might be a really good way to handle it, actually. There is weird, there is quirky, and then there is someone who I would never trust in a professional environment.
This person just cannot be trusted to make good decisions. But what can you do? Talk crap about her and hope someone cans her? I think you have to keep your distance and hope someone with more authority sees the light. If you like to indulge your fantasies, great, but do it on your time. So she becomes upset. But OP can certainly tell the coworker her opinion. Would it help the situation in any way, though? Ask if he paid for dinner, and if so, with what. Ask if he ordered for her. If the OP were to say that to her coworker, the next thing that will happen is that it escalates into a fight.
OP calling this out that bluntly and harshly can only end badly for OP, and nobody wants that. He was clearly having a bit of a breakdown of some sort. It really feels from the tone of your letter like you are about to blow this opportunity; Jane needs to feel good about your attitude and presence in this interview.
Being annoyed because the person who can blackball you was out of work due to a sick child is bit where your head should be…. OP4, I know the delay is a bummer.
Be careful in your interview not to sound entitled for this job. Sometimes these positions can backfire. Yea, OP, the disdain you have for Jane is dripping off of your letter. You could actively risk your new role by acting like you were wronged in some way or that they owe you something because of a 24 hour delay. Go into that interview excited, knowledgeable, ready to tackle any misgivings they may have. It sounds like OP has been doing the job in question for a while, and fairly well, but being overly critical and dramatic about little things moving the interview by one day!!!
Depending on what the job is, it may be a problem that can affect job performance. It just seems like the OP is mishandling the frustration and using it in an unhelpful way. That is all just noise. I was coming to give the same advice — all of the perceived support she has is not relevant to this at all. What is relevant is that she appears to have the most weight when it comes to interviewing and whether or not to bring you into this new position.
Focus on making your best impression, not her home life. I can understand being incredibly frustrated with someone who seems flaky and yet never reaps consequences for it. That said, OP needs to tuck that frustration way down deep in the sub-basement of her psyche, because it could hurt her chances.
I can see why OP4 is irritated, and how she got there, for sure. Part of the issue is that OP4 is in an awkward place as a combined colleague and jobhunter. That is wat OP4 thinks, but that might not have been the case at all. So what if the husband works near their hown, so what if she has other relatives close by? Same with the relatives. It is not because she has a lot of them that they all have the time to look after her ill kid.
OP4, one day is barely a hinderence. That was my read as well. The interview has probably already passed, but just for future people in this situation: It can cost you a promotion. There may be a debate about it happening that you are not aware of. Or do we add X, Y, and Z responsibilities which call for a different skill set and advertise the role?
I would also suggest that OP reevaluates how s he perceives a woman taking time off for her sick child. Yeah, especially for strep! Her kid was sick and she rescheduled an internal meeting which happened to be an interview by one day. That is not egregious in any way. Yes, that part of the letter was a little concerning to me. Yes to the above comments! Feel the way you feel, OP4, but if you want that job, make sure your behavior is purely professional.
It is for sure not right or professional or useful to let anyone see how much you resent Jane. Google waifu and husbando. There is a whole community online of people who honestly and seriously think they are married to or dating characters from anime or video games. If the coworker is making clients and the general public feel uncomfortable and weird someone needs to make the higher ups aware. If I was a client or member of the public and a company representative was doing this I would strongly reconsider doing business with them.
Her personal life aside she should not be telling clients and the public about her game cartoon boyfriend. I feel badly for her and hope she gets the help she needs. Yeah, I definitely did not know this is a thing. And the additional details the OP provided above make it more concerning too. But I think it would have to be one-on-one and only if the OP is senior and already friendly with her. They walk, unquiet, on every rainy night, so say the country folks.
Coworker and her Pillow, sodden and dark with the mud of the moors…. I say as someone who has frequently developed crushes on fictional characters, including, yes, cartoons.
Like what do you do then? I would honestly be concerned of what she might do or react once management informed her of reality. I would want to make sure the boss knew clients were involved, and again I think the boss can treat it like they would if the boyfriend were a live human person: I used to work with a woman who had a framed photo of Maxwell and she would jokingly call him her husband.
Does she outright bring that up? Sure, but flags for what? If the business damage is controlled and people leave her alone, I would consider it not to be a problem. Is she in a position to make high stakes judgement calls? This absolutely would impact my perception of her reliability for something like that. Yes, I had a really good exit interview with HR at my last job and I was umming and ahing over whether to tell them just how bad my grandboss and the temp maternity-cover boss had been.
In the end, the decision was easy because of th questions I was asked. Can you give an example? It was also SO gratifying to see his barely-concealed horror at some of the things I was stating very matter-of-factly. From the sorts of questions they asked you, it sounds like maybe they were already aware that there were some significant problems in the department!
Then I get yelled at for not being able to resolve the issue at my level and that I should have asked for his help. When I had a terrible boss who drove everyone away, I ended up having an exit interview with my grandboss, the CEO, and I kind of tiptoed around the problems, but the CEO clearly knew what was up. Unfortunately, their solution to the high turnover rate was to not fire anyone, even the people who clearly needed firing, eg, my boss.
It was super shortsighted, I thought, but ultimately not my call. I was glad to be out of there. No matter what you say the company will always side with a manager over a departing employee. Nothing changed when prior employees left. Presumably they made mention of the bad boss at their exit interviews. So why bother talking about it during yours? When I left my OldJob 3. On the other hand, I do hope someone did check up on him to see if he is alright and that nothing happened to him.
What did you gain from them being fired besides a piece of satisfaction? In fact, the departing employee was someone the company had identified as a specialist and the manager was deliberately using her below that level. As I recall, the exit interviewee was doing fine professionally while the beer run bro-and-broettes were struggling. The exit interview of the first person to leave alerted management to the toxic team, and they took action. That was good management, and very fair exit-interviewing from both sides.
You have possibly made people upset, made people tell others that you are a troublemaker or that you quit your job instead of trying to fix issues. Nothing changes, but your boss is told your comments. He tells other people in his network not to hire you.
You are possibly labeled as disaffected or not believable. Maybe someone from this HR department ends up at the next place or places you apply to…. None of these were the case for me in my last job. I suspect that Old Boss was never told about my comments specifically, because the problem was much bigger than just how she treated me—her priorities were just off in terms of how she assessed and valued staff, which was evident across the group.
Your game theory is exactly what abusers tell their victims about how they had better not come forward. Uncle Bob is wrong in their assessment of scenario 1. In the case of USA Gymnastics and anything that is illegal behavior it should be reported well before any exit interview. I have definitely taken action with managers based on what people said in exit interviews in fact, at one point I fired a manager based on info that I originally heard in exit interviews and that allowed me to investigate further.
I guess my point is more that who cares if action is taken. But there are reasons that some people do care. Even publicly-held companies often have motives alongside and beyond making money. You just cited game theory. Surely you are familiar with the finding that actual humans will pay dearly to punish people they believe acted unfairly.
And psych experiments show that people will cry and anguish, but will hurt innocent others if someone with a tiny bit of authority orders it. So… Our species brains have some major glitches. And there is definitely risk of backfire. Bad references, bad-mouthing within a small industry, etc. When the business arrangement is over and one is leaving a job, it is better strategy to make a graceful and gracious exit, without any finger-pointing or confessional.
That was my experience too, and in giving an honest appraisal of my years at former job during the exit interview bullying by a coworker, boss who napped in her car during the day, coworkers taking 2hr lunches, etc , I actually burned bridges. I feel now the best thing is to just move on. Clearly they have to know and are choosing not to act. Be positive in your exit interview and move on to the new place. Best of luck to you. Completely agree with this, and slightly disagree with Alison on this one.
I was in a similar situation in retail where Horrible Boss basically lost all of her part time staff and management team within a month period. Which was technically true, but was NOT the reason we left en masse. I think upper management often will take the easy route if given that chance.
Looking back, I wish I had directly requested an exit interview so there was no way that upper management could play ignorant about the situation, especially since Horrible Boss was verbally abusive to staff and customers. My old org is going through this right now — I was the second of six people who left within a short time frame.
Although I heard that the most recent resignation has people freaking out, because that person was newer and more junior than the rest of the people who left and had been expected to stick around for a while. First software job I ever quit, after a disastrous merger and a clueless CEO caused a mass exodus of the engineering department:.
If you were CEO, what would you do about the situation here? While you experience a job interview as a major moment in your life, those on the hiring end may see an interview as just another day at work. Switching around times and dates to serve the needs of the search committee members is just not a big deal, particularly for an internal candidate. I would try to eliminate all sense of irritation over this before you get to the interview; that could leak out and it would not serve you well.
But their priorities can change, or things just happen like it did for you, OP. Please, OP, take a deep breath and look at this as a minor annoyance, and not a major plot to bar you from a job.
And please keep us posted! OP2 just the headline of your query had me mentally rubbing my hands together and laughing maniacally. Saying what I mean with any subtlety is so not my thing. What do you mean here?
Just in terms of getting along well with the new co-worker, it might be worth at least going out to coffee or lunch together to discuss their respective experiences. OP1 might find that the new co-worker has something else to offer that resulted in this title, or OP1 might be able to demonstrate their greater levels of experience as compared to the new co-worker.
I have seen more than once a new person charged to turn something around, get Fergus in line, shape up the department and then not have the clarity and support from the boss who hired her to do this.
So maybe Jane has been specifically tasked with shaping up the OP and the boss still waffled when the OP raised the question of roles. The question is not how old is she and how long she has been doing this, but is she any good at it. He did precisely what he was asked to do and then those who asked it turned their backs and let him be maltreated and dismissed. I was there once. It was a lateral move within the company, because my boss wanted someone on the team with xyz experience, and the rest of the team had come from outside xyz.
We were all trainers who worked individually in different geographical areas, and I adored the job when I was actually doing the work I was hired for, but team meetings were horrible. And then a peer who was on good terms with her would make the same point and get praised for it.
It Was So Obvious. It might have helped if I did? But it was a truly horrible working experience. Or maybe it means what the OP wrote. I know I certainly get really irritated when managers without any mathematics experience start trying to micromanage my analysis work. For example, I once worked in a one-person department for 10 months sewing and cleaning theatrical drapery.
I had about 15 years cumulative sewing and theatrical experience and learned on the job with lots of research and trial and error, etc. The company wanted to hire a department head, and the person they chose who was about years older than me had probably 30 years sewing experience but had NO experience whatsoever with drapery.
The topper was I had worked with this woman previously and knew she was fairly inept at sewing too despite her years doing it. And sewing drapery is completely different than anything else. Is it possible the status meetings are for her benefit, getting used to the role and what it entails? If it kept going on for a couple weeks, I can see following the advice given, it just seems premature to me at this point. If OP feels that her work is subpar in anyway that would be one thing.
And is a totally separate issue from if she is not your boss but is acting like it. Like with anything else, there are industry- and company-specific standards to learn, but at its core copywriting is, well, writing.
The boss needs to be clear with both of them about what coworker is and is not responsible for. My guess is that the senior copywriter had previous work experience in which these types of meetings were expected between senior and junior positions.
She likely misunderstands this position or the OP misunderstands the position. Either way, boss needs to get everyone on the same page. The hiring decision could be made long before that time period is up. In general with reference calls, if you want to help the person, you should return the call within a couple of days. Two weeks is a long, long time. For my current job I had to have 5 references. I contacted everyone via email and got replies from everyone the week prior and confirmed that they would be a reference.
I did this on Sunday evening and by Wednesday there were replies from everyone except my most current boss. I resent the link, but no answer still. So I texted one of my coworker references and found out that she was on vacation! But 1 — she could have told me she had vacation and it would take longer for her to fill this out or 2 — she could have checked her work email and spend 30 minutes filling out my reference.
But sometimes the spam filter makes weird choices about what it sends to moderation. I would have waited at least 3 but the process is moving so quickly that I had to nudge some of my references.
They were visibly annoyed and stated it to me as well. This not only inconvenience me but the other person who was interviewed. This is a common custom expected of everyone. This happens on scheduled and emergency time off for her.
Stakes are high for me. I did discuss this matter with a trusted coworker to get perspective. She was also concerned about the professionalism Jane is presenting for the department.
Perhaps the overall office attitude towards Jane is clouding judgment. Emergencies happen but I stand by my initial feelings of being highly inconvenienced and concerned about the professionalism of the department if this had happened to an external candidate. Thank you for the input! Your concerns sound valid, but this sounds like a great opportunity for you to show how gracious and magnanimous you are, how you react to sudden changes, how you deal with stressful situations… consider this part of the interview!
You may be a bit BEC with Jane at this point, so just watch out for that. If I had a candidate who was stirring the pot and complaining about a key worker to others, my motivation to go outside for the hire would skyrocket. I would be upset and concerned as well! And, I want to add to what Millennial Lawyer was saying, although I am trusting LW4 with what she is observing with her own two eyes and from what her colleagues have mentioned explicitly or tacitly about Jane, there probably is a lot of background info that LW4 would not have access to that makes Jane so valuable to the organization despite what her shortcomings might be.
I strongly suspect that there are things that Jane has successfully achieved in the company in the past or has very valuable skills that makes her opinion in hiring decisions respected and relied upon.
Not exactly the same but I can really relate. You have to find a way to be ok with this. But just listen and try to keep moving forward as best you can. I have been rescheduled before and by people who really liked me and I was a shoe in! I totally understand your frustration. My last promotion was held up for months because HR lost the paperwork. I had that happen once too.
It came through in a few days after that. This provides a lot more context that sounds more reasonable on your end, though I still think that shifting an internal candidate interview by one day is far from drastic.
The situation is frustrating and your feelings are valid. You just have to be careful not to let that color your interactions with Jane. In isolation, rescheduling the interview due to a sick child is not bad. If she is not in tomorrow either or is it today? Hopefully your interview does happen today, and good luck!
I still think all that other stuff you know about Jane is completely irrelevant to this. Strep throat is serious. She took a day off for a child who had it. Those are the only real facts that should be in the equation right now. Also, I urge you to please not discuss this with co-workers anymore.
That could very easily get back to Jane. Even if the co-worker is trusted someone could over hear. This is an important boundary to learn, though: But she should definitely be reminded not to discuss personal relationships of any kind with clients. LARPing is improv theatre! Fine, do your thing! When I chatted about Harry Potter, it was at a forum with an entire shipping subspace. Took me ages to figure out this comment.
Seriously thought you were part of online forums discussing naval battles for a bit fair enough if you were; you do you. My first read was that people ship transitive verb wars the same way they ship a couple.
I will totally mean-mug anyone who says Dirk Gently was a bad show. That was totally my first thought. This person sounds so much like my sister. There are definitely people in these types of communities that take things way too far. The best way to handle it us to just ignore them. You cannot reason with them, and every time you call them out about being weird they double down and escalate the behavior. Oh geeze, this brought back memories of someone I knew who claimed she was some kind of half-demon.
I kept asking what her doctor said about that, and how many research studies was she involved in? Jules, and I had to check how close they were before the first date. It was ridiculously pathetic. I was friends with a girl 22 who married a 39 year old who swore he was a daywalker. Not the blood fetishist folks; actual undead vampires, in the city in which we lived.
And then refused to elaborate. Okay, dude, but maybe I was asking for more information because I really did kinda want to know if I needed to start wearing a scarf to bed…. Let me tell you — the actual spies among us? No one knew anything for sure, of course, but there were some people who were widely believed to be of the secret agent variety — which is actually a lot more boring than you would think.
We only date real people. Yes but it can be a good way to get someone to stop oversharing without escalating. Maybe they are referencing Shadowhunters? Wow, way over the top hostile just like many of your comments in the threads up above, for that matter. No one here is being a geek AT you. Some people have hobbies where they do physical interaction in meatspace with people and other objects. These people were among the first to start using mundane, and the first to stop using it.
Because mundane became seen as another way to sling insults at people. If someone self describes as a mundane, you do you. Mundane is totally an insult. Depending on who and how the user is slinging it.
I never said my usage is the only correct one. I did not say that. I am pointing out, as people are quick to point out to me, that some words have more history and meanings that we all may not be aware of. Most people, including me, prefer to be told when we use a word that has strong negative connotations, and have that explained to us, rather than the scorched earth approach.
I give no such credit to Penny Lane, who has been wildly emoting contempt all over this comment section. Heh I started putting a disclaimer on my larp emails that everything is just a game because we were plotting some shenanigans in the city I actually live in, and I was getting increasingly worried about making it onto a watchlist of some kind.
Discussing how exactly to get away with murdering someone while sitting in a diner booth has the potential to end badly. Oh no, this quirky lady and her cartoon boyfriend. I am new to this website.. I could relate to the first point -newly joined employee acting like a boss. I had similar experience, when I joined new, the existing employee with same designation as mine, acted like a boss. For a while it was quite irritating, I did talk about her to one of the senior managers, but not much help.
I had no other choice to ignore her. That sometimes is all that you can really do, after a clear, firm conversation seems to go over her head.
Anyone who talks too much about their personal life is going to be viewed as unprofessional. This is an awkward and tough situation to be around, for sure. Agreed, on both counts. I do have sympathy for the co-worker although she definitely needs to learn workplace boundaries.
Before the internet, I was very much into a certain pop-culture phenomenon not saying which one! I have a lot of sympathy for younger me, although I still cringe inwardly at how intense I was. I think I might still be hiding in that hole you mentioned. Better she learn now, where it might be only confined to one workplace, rather than bringing it into her next job.
Thank goodness this was also before the internet, who knows how badly that would have exacerbated things. So for her, being questioned and having arguments over the reality of her husband lets her align herself further with her community. Similarly we should agree with bird-phobia guy that birds are indeed dangerous and a justification to push people out of the way, and we should nod our heads in sympathy when hypochondriac-guy is convinced he has a brain tumor when he has a garden variety headache.
Jeez, did you get punched by an anime character or something? You have been really hostile this whole thread. It is not feeding the delusion. It is sidestepping whether it is real or not because for the purposes of work that is irrelevant. She just needs to stop oversharing. I hope I can express this reasonably well:. Some of what is going on is fairly normal behavior having a photo of a family member on your desk, casually mentioning plans with a significant other.
Think of it this way — what are responses to what did you do this weekend? I stayed home and watched Netflix, I ran a marathon, I went to brunch with a friend, I went to the zoo, blah blah blah.
I know atheists who think of religious people as delusional. Raising your vibration through the resonant frequencies of the most evocative and exotic instruments, he brings you out of your mind and into your body. By awakening the ancient seeds of magic buried deep within your soul memory and activating the light code dynamics of your DNA, he calls forth with his music your divine power to manifest reality in accordance with your higher calling.
At the age of 18 He landed his first residency at local after hours hot spot, The Dragons Empire in Albuquerque, NM, because of how well he held it down with the inner selekta. On a weekly basis Adem captivated his audiences with a coined sound of funky chunky mixing styles all the while building up a fierce reputation in the southwest EDM scene.
After an impressive North American tour boasting packed shows from Brooklyn to San Francisco and beyond, the band returned home to Los Angeles only to sell out their homecoming show at the Echo, in advance. The Creation Factory was formed in when Stots and Iggy Gonzalez drums pieced together a style infused gang of psychedelic bandits, including band members Neil Soiland and Gabriel Pacheco on guitar and Glenn Brigman on keyboards.
While the musical appeal of The Creation Factory's hard to ignore, Stots insists the band's also out to show fans what they've been missing. They are also available by phone through Hold My Ticket at It's a small, complicated word with a tangle of meanings. Gothic and ambitious, with a rustic, lived-in sound, it's a meditation on love curdling into its opposite, on recrimination defining relationships, on hope finally filtering through doubt.
Beulah is also a White family nickname. It's something I've always been around. According to White, the songs came to him unbidden—and not entirely welcome. I wasn't looking for songs. I didn't know whether any would pop back in my head again, and I was honestly okay with that. I'm a very happy father and husband, and I love where I live. I love working with artists for a label that I think is doing good work.